When the pain gets to be too much

I have been in a lot of pain for the last two years.


I’ve always held tension in my shoulders and had discomfort in my neck, upper back, and shoulders, but I just lived with it.

About a year and a half ago, I did something (I’m still not exactly sure what) that caused debilitating pain in my whole upper body. What I remember most about that time was having to be intentional about which clothes I would put on in the morning because I could barely lift my arms, and there were nights when I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of my clothes and into my pajamas.

I thought I’d just wait it out. That’s what I’d always done with illness and injuries, and usually, it worked.

I stopped the strength training routine and dance classes I’d recently started and been so excited about. Then I pretty much stopped moving altogether (have I mentioned I’m an all-or-nothing person? 🤪). Sitting on the couch all day, every day, led to a sciatica flare-up that debilitated me further.

I got really down on myself and life, I stopped going out and nurturing friendships, and I pretty much stopped taking care of myself altogether.

When we face all-consuming challenges in life (and yes, they come for us all at one point or another), we may fall into a downward spiral that takes every area of our life down with it. Whether it’s the end of a relationship or an injury/illness or a job loss, the darkness can consume every part of us.

After about 3 months of this, I decided I needed to try something. Acupuncture really helped my sciatica but didn’t do much for my shoulders. I found a physical therapist to help with my shoulders, and I went for a few months, but it didn’t help much either, so I stopped going and decided I just had to live with it.

I was at a point where I could at least do some strength training, which helped a little bit more. Every once in a while, I’d try a bath with Epsom salts, or do some of my PT exercises, or put on some Icy Hot, or use a heating pad.

But the pain never went away. I just thought it was the result of getting older (I’m 31…), and hopefully, it’d resolve itself eventually.

But it didn’t. Every once in a while, it would flare up and be extremely painful again, but then it’d calm down, and I’d keep on going with my life.

I didn’t believe it was possible for me to be pain-free.

Then, about a month ago, I did something in an exercise class that REALLY aggravated my shoulder, and the pain wasn’t subsiding this time.

I asked my dad, “Have you had aches and pains in your body since you turned 30?” And he basically said, “No, that’s not normal.”

And that moment created a crack in the darkness that helped me believe that maybe healing was possible. Grinning and bearing it wasn’t my only option.

I found a chiropractor, and after four sessions in 8 days, I had moments without any pain for the first time in years. It’s not perfect, and I’m not “all better” yet. I know this is going to be a long road because there’s a lot of damage to undo.

But I have hope that there’s a pain-free experience waiting for me at the end of this road.

Life will always throw challenges your way. There will be pain and discomfort, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

But this is your reminder that you aren’t meant to live with and in that pain and discomfort forever. Pain and discomfort are a signal that it’s time to change, transform, and grow into the next iteration of yourself.

So whether you’re unfulfilled in your job and seeking purpose elsewhere…

or feeling physical discomfort and knowing that you need to change your lifestyle to feel more energized, less achy and bloated, more mobile…

or feeling isolated and alone without the relationships and sense of belonging you desire…

I’m just dropping in today to remind you that your pain and discomfort are inevitable but are NOT meant to last forever, and there’s a more easeful existence waiting for you when you’re ready to face your pain and make some changes. Do you believe it’s possible for you? I promise it is.