What is Easeful Living?

Easeful living is a way of experiencing life. It’s not something you do. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a part of your identity. It’s the result of living in alignment with your values, a way that adds meaning to your life. 

It’s an experience of flow, purpose, peace, fulfillment, relaxation, ease, gentleness, intention, joy,  knowing you’re on the right path. It’s knowing that everything is working for your highest good and when you do what is in alignment and best for you, things will always work out.

It’s an embrace of something more personal and profound: who you truly are, what you genuinely want, and how you choose to live, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Most people these days are living the opposite of easefully. They’re forcing themselves to live within the confines of what society deems is “right,” constantly feeling like they should be doing things differently or doing more in order to achieve success and fulfillment. They’re chasing socially constructed markers of success that have nothing to do with what they really want from life. 

Take a moment to take a deep breath in and then exhale and try to release any external pressures and opinions you’re carrying that make you feel wrong for living the way you are or wanting what you want. Do it again and exhale DEEPLY…let it GO. How does it feel?

For me, the feeling of ease didn’t come naturally. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time stressing about things that didn’t matter in the end, trying to live up to external expectations and aiming for “perfection” (whatever that means). It’s exhausting.

What I’ve discovered is that easeful living isn’t about perfection—it’s about authenticity, intention, and balance.

Releasing Expectations and Embracing Authenticity
In health and wellness alone, there’s an overwhelming amount of advice and information available to us: what to eat, how to exercise, how to sleep, what habits to adopt. It’s impossible to follow it all—and let’s be honest, you shouldn’t try to. Every body is different, and every life is unique. What works for someone else may not work for you.

Easeful living begins with releasing external expectations. It’s letting go of the endless “shoulds” that society imposes on us. It’s stepping away from the idea that there’s one “right” way to do things and embracing the idea that your way is the only way that matters.

For example, during a particularly hectic week last December, I found myself facing a holiday party with an optional white elephant gift exchange and a festive dress code. I hadn’t prepared a gift, and I didn’t have a holiday sweater to wear. For a moment, I felt disappointed in myself for not planning better or being a more festive person. But then, I had to accept that I’m just not a holiday-sweater-gift-giving type of person, and that’s okay. I DID bake cookies for the party, which I love to do, and I was showing up to spend time with people I cared about. That’s what counted.

Easeful living doesn’t mean doing nothing or shirking responsibility—it means doing what’s meaningful to you and letting go of the rest.

Intentional Self-Discovery and Boundaries
After you release the expectations of others, you have the space to discover what you want, what brings you joy and purpose, and what aligns with your values. 

Answering these questions isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. It involves quieting the external noise—especially from social media, where endless wellness trends make us feel like we’re falling short. Meditation, journaling, gratitude practices, fitness regimens—they can all be effective tools. But they’re not one-size-fits-all solutions.

Take time to explore what works for you. Maybe meal prepping on Sundays feels easeful because it eliminates daily decision fatigue and effort. For others, cooking a meal every night is relaxing or a way to show love for their family.

Perhaps meditation stresses you out, but dancing energizes you. Maybe a Friday night out with friends is the perfect way to unwind at the end of the week, or maybe that sounds like a nightmare and you’d rather curl up with a good book and a cup of tea. 

Easeful living is about identifying the practices and routines that help you thrive, not adopting someone else’s formula for life.

Equally important are the boundaries you set to protect your peace. This is a huge challenge for my clients. As women who want to impact the world, it can be hard to say no. We want to help others, be selfless, make a difference….so we tend to put our needs last. This is not an effective strategy for long-term impact or easeful living. 

If you are not well, you will not be able to show up for those who need you most. When I was working 14 hour days as a teacher, I was less emotionally and intellectually available for my students. My patience would run thin and I missed many joyful moments with my sweet students because I was exhausted and cranky. I was crawling through each day, LIVING for the weekends, and always counting down to the next break. I was not present in my work or my life.

I had no boundaries. I said yes to “everything,” but “everything” didn’t include ME, it was just job stuff. I lived this way for almost four years until I came to the realization that, while I got a sense of purpose from my job, I didn’t want that to be my WHOLE life. If I wanted a life bigger than just being “Ms. Proulx,” I had to start saying “no” in my job, and I had to figure out what I wanted and needed to say “yes” to.

Easeful living asks us to bring intention to how we spend our time and energy. We can’t do everything, and trying to will only lead to burnout. By focusing on what matters most to us, we free ourselves to live with more ease.

I have an awesome free resource I'd love to share with you to help you with this step. "Life in Alignment: A Practical Guide to Living Your Values" will help you uncover your core values, assess how well you’re honoring them in your daily life, and create a personalized plan to live more in tune with who you truly are. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just seeking more purpose, this guide will empower you to live a more balanced, fulfilled life.

Balancing Pleasure with Purposeful Wellness
The final component of easeful living is balancing present-moment enjoyment and long-term well-being.

This distinction can be seen in two types of happiness: hedonic and eudaemonic.

Hedonic happiness is about fleeting pleasure—the dopamine hit of a greasy pizza slice or a Netflix binge. It feels great in the moment and gives you a spike of good feelings, but it’s often followed by guilt, lethargy, or regret. Other hedonic sources of pleasure include eating sugary/fatty/salty/chemical-y foods, bingeing Netflix, scrolling social media, drinking alcohol and using drugs, etc. 

Eudaemonic happiness focuses on deeper, more sustainable well-being practices, like nourishing your body with healthy foods, exercising, nurturing relationships, or pursuing personal growth.

When you give into every whim simply for the pleasure of feeling good in the moment, you experience big swings in your energy and mood--feeling really really good and really really bad (red graph). You eat a sleeve of cookies and they taste so good, but then you feel like crap. You crash on the couch after work because you're tired and it feels good to rest, but then you can't sleep at night because you didn't move your body all day, and you continuously live in this sluggish cycle. You have a glass of wine every night to wind down, but then it wreaks havoc on your sleep. 

The alternative is living with a little bit more discipline (which is simply giving up what you want in the present moment for something bigger you want in the future). Say no to the wine, dessert, and Netflix binge. Say yes to the exercise, reduced screen time, and earlier bed time. As you start, you will feel disappointed or annoyed or maybe even a little restricted, but the result will be expansive and it'll be so worth it.

Eudaemonic wellness, while not always "fun," creates a steady, elevated baseline of joy and purpose that we get to experience every day. While it may not deliver the same dramatic highs as hedonic pleasures, it fosters a life that feels more meaningful and satisfying overall. As for the lows, it won't eradicate problems from your life, but you'll be better able to cope with the challenges of life that inevitably arise. 

Easeful living invites us to adopt lifestyle practices that enhance this deeper sense of wellness. It’s about subtracting the things that don’t serve us and making room for the things that do.

For instance, my mornings feel easeful when I get up on my first alarm rather than hitting snooze five times (*cough* that used to be me). My energy around food feels more easeful when I choose to make a high-protein breakfast in the morning, which starts my day off with energy and leads me to make better choices for my easeful life throughout the day. 

I also like to fit in a few minutes of mindfulness and take a moment to set my intentions for the day. These practices align with my values and help me to stay present in my life.

At the same time, I don’t feel pressured to cram in every “good” habit. While social media might suggest that I should meditate for an hour, journal extensively, and practice gratitude daily, I know that balance matters. Instead, I focus on the activities that support my easeful life while leaving space for joy, spontaneity, and rest.

Let’s be clear, this isn’t me telling you how to create your easeful life. If you have pets or children, your mornings may look different. Maybe your easeful morning includes spending quality time with your (fur) babies. You get to define what leads to your eudaemonic happiness and long-term well-being.

Remember, shut out the external voices telling you what you “should” be doing and define it for yourself.

A Life Designed for You
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Easeful living is ultimately about designing a life that feels expansive, intentional, and uniquely yours. It’s not about doing more but about doing what truly matters.

Imagine a day where you wake up feeling rested, savor a warm cup of tea, and head to a job that feels meaningful. You move your body and eat nourishing foods. After work, you engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s knitting, playing a board game, or cooking a delicious meal. You end the day feeling fulfilled, knowing you spent your time in alignment with your values and life you want both now and in the future.

This is easeful living. It’s the exhale, the sigh of relief that comes from knowing you don’t have to do everything. It’s the joy of choosing what’s right for you.

So take a deep breath. Let go of the pressure. And give yourself permission to live with ease.