It takes 21 days to start a habit, 3 months to start a new lifestyle, and 1–2 years of consistent effort to change into a different person.


I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on what investing in a health coach means and why it can be such a powerful tool for transformation. When you invest in coaching, you’re investing in yourself. You’re showing yourself that you’re important enough to spend the time and money on to change your life AND you’re making the commitment to do it.

That can be scary when you have a long string of failures in your past. But one thing I know for sure is that we are all meant to live a life of ease and abundance, and it is possible for ALL of us when we claim it and take action to bring it to fruition.

But it takes time. Because you’re not just building some habits that you’ll stick with for a few months until you lose the weight or get a good night of sleep or run/walk a 5k. You’re building a lifestyle that you plan to sustain for a lonnnngg time, that is built on behaviors that nourish your body, mind, and soul and make your life a little bit more easeful and a lot more fulfilling. That is when you step into your greatest experience of being.

You start with the big vision. You get excited and inspired and motivated to make a bunch of changes. But when you don’t have a systematic approach and you do too much without setting a strong foundation, there’s no way you can make meaningful change because meaningful change takes time, and moments of motivation and inspiration are just that–moments in time that won’t sustain you through the months and years.

As a coach, I take you through a system that makes it almost impossible to fail (as long as you’re committed to doing the work). I provide the support you need to get through the challenging times you will inevitably have along your journey.

And when you persist with your healthy lifestyle over years, you can look back and see how you have transformed.

Change takes time, and there’s no better time to start than right now. What are you waiting for? If you’re ready to make a change in your life, schedule a clarity call so we can explore how health coaching (whether with me or someone else) can support you along your journey.

A few weeks ago, I told you about my cold plunge experience. Y’all, I was so excited about it that I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. I kept imagining the thrill of dunking my body into the freezing bathtub. And in addition to that, I was going through my shoulder stuff and thought it could possibly help. So I signed up for an unlimited trial period. I committed to going every other day for two weeks to see what happened.


And guess what happened? I can do hard things, right? Logic says that the more you do something, the easier it gets. But it actually got harder. The second time was miserable, even after I’d spent the previous three nights dreaming about it. So it was hard to convince myself to go the third time. And the fourth time even more. Every time I stood on that platform next to the bathtub, I dreaded it a little bit more than before.

When you try something new, the novelty of the thing gets you through the first few times. It’s kind of fun to delve into new possibilities. When you start running, even though it’s hard, the exhilaration of that first run gets you on the second. When you make a new delicious recipe, and even though it was a lot of work, you want to try another one. When you start to clean out your closet, even though you’re physically and mentally exhausted, it feels so good that you dive into an even bigger cleaning project.

But then the novelty wears off and the actual work of the thing sets in. And this is where most people give up. There’s this hump where it’s no longer fun and new, but it also hasn’t become habitual and easy. So it’s just hard and annoying and you don’t want to do it anymore.

So, how do you push through that?

First, you have to remember your WHY and stay anchored in that. For me, I’m doing the cold plunge because my shoulder is inflamed and I need the cold to calm it down. I SO want to live without pain and limitation. I’ve had tastes of it over the last couple of weeks and I know that the cold is helping. So I keep going even when it’s uncomfortable.

Health is THE thing that makes all other things possible. You get to define for yourself what do you want to be possible in your life when you’re living in optimal health.

Second, you have to commit to doing the thing (very specifically — for me it was going every other day for two weeks) and then actually do it. The more specific you are, the more likely you are to follow through.

Finally, it really helps to have someone walking alongside helping you keep going when obstacles arise and it doesn’t seem like it’s working.

This is what I do as a health coach. I help you define your vision of optimal health, set goals and start to make changes, and navigate those changes as life happens (and with it goes the focus and motivation that you started with).

It takes a lot of time and work to change your habits and lifestyle. How long depends on the habit and the person. But eventually, the mental chatter does subside and you won’t even notice that going for that run or finding and making the new recipe or plunging into icy water isn’t actually so hard anymore.

​“It doesn’t get easier. You just learn how to handle hard better.” — Kara Lawson

I have been in a lot of pain for the last two years.


I’ve always held tension in my shoulders and had discomfort in my neck, upper back, and shoulders, but I just lived with it.

About a year and a half ago, I did something (I’m still not exactly sure what) that caused debilitating pain in my whole upper body. What I remember most about that time was having to be intentional about which clothes I would put on in the morning because I could barely lift my arms, and there were nights when I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of my clothes and into my pajamas.

I thought I’d just wait it out. That’s what I’d always done with illness and injuries, and usually, it worked.

I stopped the strength training routine and dance classes I’d recently started and been so excited about. Then I pretty much stopped moving altogether (have I mentioned I’m an all-or-nothing person? 🤪). Sitting on the couch all day, every day, led to a sciatica flare-up that debilitated me further.

I got really down on myself and life, I stopped going out and nurturing friendships, and I pretty much stopped taking care of myself altogether.

When we face all-consuming challenges in life (and yes, they come for us all at one point or another), we may fall into a downward spiral that takes every area of our life down with it. Whether it’s the end of a relationship or an injury/illness or a job loss, the darkness can consume every part of us.

After about 3 months of this, I decided I needed to try something. Acupuncture really helped my sciatica but didn’t do much for my shoulders. I found a physical therapist to help with my shoulders, and I went for a few months, but it didn’t help much either, so I stopped going and decided I just had to live with it.

I was at a point where I could at least do some strength training, which helped a little bit more. Every once in a while, I’d try a bath with Epsom salts, or do some of my PT exercises, or put on some Icy Hot, or use a heating pad.

But the pain never went away. I just thought it was the result of getting older (I’m 31…), and hopefully, it’d resolve itself eventually.

But it didn’t. Every once in a while, it would flare up and be extremely painful again, but then it’d calm down, and I’d keep on going with my life.

I didn’t believe it was possible for me to be pain-free.

Then, about a month ago, I did something in an exercise class that REALLY aggravated my shoulder, and the pain wasn’t subsiding this time.

I asked my dad, “Have you had aches and pains in your body since you turned 30?” And he basically said, “No, that’s not normal.”

And that moment created a crack in the darkness that helped me believe that maybe healing was possible. Grinning and bearing it wasn’t my only option.

I found a chiropractor, and after four sessions in 8 days, I had moments without any pain for the first time in years. It’s not perfect, and I’m not “all better” yet. I know this is going to be a long road because there’s a lot of damage to undo.

But I have hope that there’s a pain-free experience waiting for me at the end of this road.

Life will always throw challenges your way. There will be pain and discomfort, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

But this is your reminder that you aren’t meant to live with and in that pain and discomfort forever. Pain and discomfort are a signal that it’s time to change, transform, and grow into the next iteration of yourself.

So whether you’re unfulfilled in your job and seeking purpose elsewhere…

or feeling physical discomfort and knowing that you need to change your lifestyle to feel more energized, less achy and bloated, more mobile…

or feeling isolated and alone without the relationships and sense of belonging you desire…

I’m just dropping in today to remind you that your pain and discomfort are inevitable but are NOT meant to last forever, and there’s a more easeful existence waiting for you when you’re ready to face your pain and make some changes. Do you believe it’s possible for you? I promise it is.

Did you see that the fancy gym Equinox is now offering a $40,000/year health plan? It’s absurd. So I guess the wealthy just get to be healthier because they have more money?

There’s so much news out there about all these fancy things that could make us healthier — expensive creams and bath bombs and candles that calm our nervous systems and cryotherapy and saunas and…and…and…. It can feel overwhelming and completely out of reach to take care of ourselves effectively.

So I keep coming back to the basics. There may be some “easy fixes“ out there that are just out of reach for me or for you.

But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do anything. Instead of feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by all the options and feeling like you have to do it all or do nothing, consider what is within your control?

What you eat, how you move your body, how you set yourself up for quality sleep, the relationships you cultivate… These are all things that can transform your lifestyle and health that don’t require thousands of dollars and all the fancy products that you see advertised in the media.

It might feel kinda boring compared to what you see on social media. It’s definitely not fancy. But it does the job.

​So if you can’t go to the spa every day, what can you do to support a healthy lifestyle? Comment below and let me know!

So I did a cold plunge last week.

When I got to the place, they talked me through the process before I got in the water and gave me some breathing tips, and still as soon as my body hit the water, I panicked.

I lasted 30 seconds the first time and jumped out as fast as I could.

As I was debriefing with my friend while warming up in the sauna, I realized that I probably could’ve stayed in a little longer. But I had let my mind tell me I couldn’t.

So I resolved to stay in a little longer the next time and even longer the next. By the fourth (and last) time, I’d worked my way up to two minutes, though I had to modify by poking my toes out of the water for part of it.

Your mind is so powerful. It can make or break your life. It dictates whether you act, react, or don’t act at all. I don’t know about you, but I want to choose my life, not just let it happen to me or miss it altogether.

Of course challenges will arise. Of course things happen that are out of your control. But if you’ve trained your mind to do hard things, you’ll be able to handle what comes your way.

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Easeful living doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do hard things. It just means that you can get through hard things with a little less resistance.

Changing your lifestyle and adopting new habits is hard at times, I’m not gonna lie. Getting up and going to the gym before work or eating that vegetable you don’t really like or going out with friends when you’d rather crawl into bed because you know it’ll be good for you or clearing out your home and giving away things that no longer serve you — it’s hard!

When you’re not mindful of the hard, you let your feelings of resistance take over and you just don’t do it. But when you’re mindful, you notice the thought that says, “I don’t want to do this.” And you stay present to your goals and vision for a more expanded life experience. And then you do the hard thing anyways.

What is something you know you need to do but you’ve been resisting lately? How can you push through to just do the thing and prove to yourself that you can do hard things?

​As always, comment below and let me know! Sharing it with someone makes it more real and a little bit easier to follow through on.

When I visited Colorado a few weeks ago, as I was driving to Boulder to meet a friend, I felt so peaceful, driving slowly on the back roads, enjoying watching the bikers in the bike lanes and giving them extra space as I passed. It was lovely.

When I’m in Houston, on the other hand, I’m a little bit of a maniac driver (not as crazy as some, but definitely not a picture of easeful driving 🤣). I’m on the defensive and offensive, not letting people in in traffic, getting so frustrated with slow drivers and fast drivers and anyone who stops me from getting where I’m going as quickly as possible (please don’t judge me…I’m being vulnerable here!).

But in Colorado, I adapted to the environment and circumstances. Colorado drivers are way more chill, and there’s a different energy on the roads.

It doesn’t hurt that this is what you get to stare at as you’re driving in Colorado.I definitely prefer to feel how I felt driving in Colorado than how I feel driving in Houston.

And yet, as soon as I got back to Houston, I turned back into a maniac driver.

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There’s something to the concept of stepping away from your life for a moment to reflect and regroup. And you might be thinking, “but wait, Elaine, didn’t you just tell me last week that retreats don’t improve my well-being?” Yes and no.

Sometimes, you have to climb out of the bottle of your life to be able to read the label. You can’t read the label from inside. There are things in your life that may be driving you crazy or causing pain and suffering that you don’t recognize until you’ve removed yourself from the situation.

But then, eventually, you have to get back in the bottle, back into your life. And if you haven’t done anything to solidify what you learned outside of the bottle and implement those new practices into your real life, nothing is going to change. It was just a nice respite for a moment in time.

If you jump back into the same conditions that made you ill, frustrated, burnt out, or crazy without a plan for change, the peace and calm you experienced while away will disappear so fast, and you’ll be right back where you started.

You can’t heal in the same environment that created the illness. Something has to change, and if you can’t change your environment, you have to change something in or about yourself.

For me, I’m grateful to have had a health coaching session while I was away to help me reprioritize what is important in my life right now. I planned out (and have since implemented) a morning routine that sets me up for a focused and productive day. It includes some practices for me (meditation, gratitude, alignment practices) and some stuff for my business (health news and research, business development, and writing). And by making time for the things that nourish my body, mind, and soul, I get in the car every day less stressed and more patient and gracious.

​Whether you’ve been able to step away from real life recently or it’s been a while, reflect on what it felt like and how you can bring more of that energy (patient, calm, inspired, content, joyfully expectant) into your daily life. Because your health and well-being aren’t about the big fancy things you do for yourself once in a blue moon; it’s about how you take care of yourself every single day.

When I was in high school, I would go to the YMCA to work out at night.

When I was in college, I would get up at 5:00am and go to the gym before early morning classes.

When I was a teacher, I would go for a walk or swim after school.

In the past two years, since I’ve had a little bit more flexibility in my mornings, I got my workouts done in the morning.

But now I’m back to trying afternoon workouts because I realized that morning workouts drain my energy before I’ve done anything else in the day!

So when is the BEST time to exercise?

​The New York Times recently published an article reporting on research done in Australia with a group of 30,000 adults with obesity that claimed the best time to exercise was at night to decrease the risk of death from any cause.

But a different study found that morning exercise is best for heart health and weight loss.

And yet another study said afternoon workouts are best for athletes.

So the best time to exercise? When you’re actually going to do it!

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for anything in life. And there’s likely no solution that is going to work for you for your entire life.

Annoying, I know.

The best way to eat? Low fat, high fat, low carb, high carb, gluten-free, paleo, keto, intermittent fasting, intuitive eating, vegan, no limits. There’s a reason why all these diets exist. Because some piece of research has shown that they were effective for the participants in the study.

The optimal amount of sleep? 8 hours? Think again. Some people need much more, and some people don’t need that much. And it changes as we age.

The perfect job conditions? Work remotely for flexibility, work in person for community, part-time, full-time, big salary and few benefits, lower salary with great benefits. Some people want a job that’s extremely fulfilling, others just show up for the paycheck.

So instead of looking out at the world for the answer to your health and lifestyle challenges, why not go inward and figure out what you want and what’s going to work for you, in the body you have, with the family and friends that surround you, and lifestyle you want to cultivate?

​The best way to be is the way that you can live in congruence with your values and goals. So stop looking outward and trust that you know what’s best for you, and then go do it.

When I was younger, I hated people telling me what to do, especially when it came to fitness. Team sports? No thanks! Fitness classes? Nope. I chose to play softball because it involved the least amount of physical effort of all the sports I’d tried (in my opinion).

In high school, I would go run 3 miles before softball practice, but when the coach made us run 5 foul poles at the end of practice, I was huffing and puffing, not from being out of breath but from being pissed that someone was telling me to run.

For years, I wanted to plan my own workouts. But then I kind of stopped because it was a lot of mental effort to figure out a whole workout multiple times a week! Two years ago, I reprioritized strength training and surrendered to group fitness classes because I found myself struggling to motivate myself to do strength training. And it’s actually been pretty great! I’ve benefited from going to classes where the teacher plans the whole thing and I just have to show up.

But last week, I noticed some of that rebellion emerge (and realized I’ve been doing this since the beginning, unknowingly sabotaging myself).

I was in a Pilates class and noticed some resistance to what the instructor was telling us to do. I was changing the moves to make them easier or stopping altogether, partly because it was hard but more because I was feeling annoyed with the moves the teacher had chosen for us, and I was acting out. When I caught myself doing this, I realized that me not doing the move doesn’t affect the teacher. They don’t care whether or not I do it. The only person it’s affecting is me, and it’s not in line with my fitness goals to not do the exercises I’m going to the classes to do.

I find this to be true with a lot of things related to health. A lot of times, we know what we need to do, especially when people tell us what to do. We resist simply because we don’t want people to tell us what to do. This doesn’t help us reach our goals or live in alignment with our values because what we value is living healthfully and optimally.

Other times, what people tell us to do truly doesn’t work for us. At least once per class, I do have to modify a move because of my tailbone injury or my back (related to the tailbone thing) or my bad knees, and I know that what I’m doing is right for me because I know my body best.


So I guess it’s all about balance — being open to learning and growing and knowing that you are the expert on your body, your health, your life.


Takeaways

1. What worked for you once may not work for you now. It’s okay (and necessary) to change.
2. You likely have all the knowledge you need to change your life and health. You just have to put it into action.
3. Not doing is a choice just as much as doing is. Think about your recent choices around your health and well-being. Are you doing it for you? Are you not doing it because of someone else? What would change if you blocked out the external noise and acted fully in alignment with your goals and vision for your life?

Health coaching is the bridge between knowing something and actually doing it. What can you commit to doing this week to move you closer to your optimal health and well-being?

Imagine you’re applying for jobs and you get an offer for your dream job $20,000 a year. Would you take it? Heck no!


But wait. What if they give away free Astros tickets to employees and have a lounge stocked with unlimited drinks and snacks? And they have blowout parties throughout the year that people rave about. Would you take it now? Still, heck no!

Why? Because you can’t survive on $20,000 a year and snacks and Astros tickets.


It’s the same with our health. We have to give ourselves a living wage for health-supporting behaviors before we focus on adding in all those extra special things. Sure, those things are fun, but you can’t survive off of them.

You have to “pay” yourself enough through a healthful lifestyle — nourishing your body with movement, whole foods, quality sleep, positive relationships, and purposeful activities — to be able to feel satisfied and fulfilled in your life. When you don’t, you feel depleted, frustrated, aimless, hopeless, sick, achy, overwhelmed.

No matter what you throw at it — a spa day, a weekend away, a wellness retreat, a movie night —, it won’t cancel out the missing pieces.

When we have foundational wellness, we’re not living for the exercise and vegetables, are we? (I mean, maybe some people are, but I’m certainly not….) They’re not invigorating and exciting in the moment. But when you are well, those bonuses of a really special bath or a massage can take your life experience to a whole new level.

​The first step has to be getting your health foundations dialed in. Movement, nourishing food, quality sleep, an orderly environment, mental well-being, purposeful activities, community, and mindfulness.

Did you see the northern lights this past weekend?


I didn’t. Oh well. It can be easy to get sucked into the hype of all the things happening in the world around us. With the media these days, we’re so much more aware of EVERYTHING we should and shouldn’t be doing, hearing, seeing, buying.

It is so easy to be influenced these days. You start to feel out of control with how you’re spending your attention, time, and money. FOMO (the fear of missing out) is a real mental phenomenon that can zap our life satisfaction if we let it.​

When there is something coming up every single week (or maybe every single day) that is a “once-in-a-lifetime,” “can’t miss” event, it can all just get to be TOO. FREAKING. MUCH. (How I’m feeling lately…lol)

So how do we stop the fear and guilt of missing out on all these incredible experiences?​

Well, there will always be more to do. More to see. More to experience. That’s the beauty of life. You have an enormous buffet of choices you get to choose from. You get to CHOOSE. External circumstances don’t control your choices. You control what you bring into our lives.​

AND remember that how we spend our day-to-day life is much more impactful for our health and well-being than chasing moments of elation and excitement. Of course those add value, but if you’re not content, not fulfilled, not feeling well daily, these once-in-a-lifetime events aren’t going to fix your life.

Of course I felt disappointed for like, a minute, that I was going to be sleeping when the northern lights were visible, but once I forgot about it, did it matter? Not to me.

So what are you choosing to spend your time and attention on this week?​

For me, it’s getting organized and starting to plan our next online event (stay tuned for something good!) and getting back into my exercise routine and meal planning after a week and a half away in Colorado.​

I would love to hear what you’re choosing this week! Comment and let me know :)