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How many years have you failed to achieve your New Year’s resolutions? I know I certainly have many times. Or maybe you’ve given up on resolutions completely because you’ve never managed to achieve one.
For years, I failed at my resolutions. Here’s how it went: I’d sit down in late December or early January with a brand-new notebook and think about everything in my life that made me unhappy. Then I’d imagine the opposite and write it down as a resolution. Sometimes, I’d scroll social media or Google “New Year’s resolutions” looking for other people's resolutions and add to my list anything that sounded cool or worthy of social praise. Once my list was done, I’d close the notebook and not look at it again until December when I’d inevitably feel bad for “failing” my resolutions. This didn’t work for two reasons:
Here are some of my worst resolutions:
So what does it actually mean to make a resolution? A resolution is something you resolve to do. It implies both an intention and a commitment to action. Most people focus on the intention but miss the action plan. Instead of actionable goals, their resolutions are dreams. I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to find a partner. I want to save money. These are nebulous, lack personal meaning, and aren’t actionable. They fail to set you up for success because they’re missing two key elements:
So the answer to clear, meaningful, successful resolutions is to figure out what it is you want through building a vision, and then set actionable goals to build that vision. A meaningful vision acts as your compass. It’s what guides your actions and keeps you aligned with the life you want to create. Once you have your vision, create process-oriented goals that let you experience your vision daily. Process-oriented goals make it easier to plan and track your progress. These should be actionable steps you’ll take to build the life you want. By the end of the year, you’ll have clear evidence of your growth and alignment with your vision. Here are three of my goals from 2024 and what I consider big accomplishments!
These are really simple resolutions because I’m focused on building a sustainable lifestyle that aligns with my values and allows me to feel fulfilled and well EVERY day. These accomplishments are proof that I’m living an aligned life! Align Your Resolutions. Transform Your Life. When you align your resolutions with your vision for your life and create actionable goals, you’ll experience clarity, growth, and unexpected opportunities. It all starts with defining what you truly want and committing to the actions that will make it a reality. These steps are simple but they’re not necessarily easy. It can be hugely beneficial to work through the process with someone who is trained to ask questions that help you uncover deep insights about what you want and what you can do to get there. I am so excited to offer you my 90-minute Rethinking Resolutions Sessions for a huge discount as a gift for showing up for yourself this year. This is a one-on-one session with me to build out your vision for optimal life and well-being, set process-oriented goals, and put a plan in place to take action on those goals immediately. Then, we’ll stay in touch and you can reach out for support over the next 14 days as you start to take action, come up against obstacles, and gain new insights. In this session, you’ll get clear on
Normally $297, this session is available for just $97 to help you start 2025 aligned and inspired. Click here to book your session. P.S. January is a great time to do this because there’s a collective energy of new beginnings, but it’s also a time when the Earth is telling us to go within, rest, and rejuvenate. If you’re finding this article in the springtime or mid-summer or preparing for back to school season or steeling yourself before the holidays, NOW (whenever that is for you) is the perfect time to create your vision and some resolutions so you can live more in alignment with who you truly are and who you want to become in the next phase of your life. Let's rethink your resolutions now. Take this as a sign from the universe to dive into your vision and goals. Let's rethink your resolutions now.
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Easeful living is a way of experiencing life. It’s not something you do. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a part of your identity. It’s the result of living in alignment with your values, a way that adds meaning to your life. It’s an experience of flow, purpose, peace, fulfillment, relaxation, ease, gentleness, intention, joy, knowing you’re on the right path. It’s knowing that everything is working for your highest good and when you do what is in alignment and best for you, things will always work out. It’s an embrace of something more personal and profound: who you truly are, what you genuinely want, and how you choose to live, no matter what anyone else thinks. Most people these days are living the opposite of easefully. They’re forcing themselves to live within the confines of what society deems is “right,” constantly feeling like they should be doing things differently or doing more in order to achieve success and fulfillment. They’re chasing socially constructed markers of success that have nothing to do with what they really want from life. Take a moment to take a deep breath in and then exhale and try to release any external pressures and opinions you’re carrying that make you feel wrong for living the way you are or wanting what you want. Do it again and exhale DEEPLY…let it GO. How does it feel? For me, the feeling of ease didn’t come naturally. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time stressing about things that didn’t matter in the end, trying to live up to external expectations and aiming for “perfection” (whatever that means). It’s exhausting. What I’ve discovered is that easeful living isn’t about perfection—it’s about authenticity, intention, and balance. Releasing Expectations and Embracing Authenticity In health and wellness alone, there’s an overwhelming amount of advice and information available to us: what to eat, how to exercise, how to sleep, what habits to adopt. It’s impossible to follow it all—and let’s be honest, you shouldn’t try to. Every body is different, and every life is unique. What works for someone else may not work for you. Easeful living begins with releasing external expectations. It’s letting go of the endless “shoulds” that society imposes on us. It’s stepping away from the idea that there’s one “right” way to do things and embracing the idea that your way is the only way that matters. For example, during a particularly hectic week last December, I found myself facing a holiday party with an optional white elephant gift exchange and a festive dress code. I hadn’t prepared a gift, and I didn’t have a holiday sweater to wear. For a moment, I felt disappointed in myself for not planning better or being a more festive person. But then, I had to accept that I’m just not a holiday-sweater-gift-giving type of person, and that’s okay. I DID bake cookies for the party, which I love to do, and I was showing up to spend time with people I cared about. That’s what counted. Easeful living doesn’t mean doing nothing or shirking responsibility—it means doing what’s meaningful to you and letting go of the rest. Intentional Self-Discovery and Boundaries After you release the expectations of others, you have the space to discover what you want, what brings you joy and purpose, and what aligns with your values. Answering these questions isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. It involves quieting the external noise—especially from social media, where endless wellness trends make us feel like we’re falling short. Meditation, journaling, gratitude practices, fitness regimens—they can all be effective tools. But they’re not one-size-fits-all solutions. Take time to explore what works for you. Maybe meal prepping on Sundays feels easeful because it eliminates daily decision fatigue and effort. For others, cooking a meal every night is relaxing or a way to show love for their family. Perhaps meditation stresses you out, but dancing energizes you. Maybe a Friday night out with friends is the perfect way to unwind at the end of the week, or maybe that sounds like a nightmare and you’d rather curl up with a good book and a cup of tea. Easeful living is about identifying the practices and routines that help you thrive, not adopting someone else’s formula for life. Equally important are the boundaries you set to protect your peace. This is a huge challenge for my clients. As women who want to impact the world, it can be hard to say no. We want to help others, be selfless, make a difference….so we tend to put our needs last. This is not an effective strategy for long-term impact or easeful living. If you are not well, you will not be able to show up for those who need you most. When I was working 14 hour days as a teacher, I was less emotionally and intellectually available for my students. My patience would run thin and I missed many joyful moments with my sweet students because I was exhausted and cranky. I was crawling through each day, LIVING for the weekends, and always counting down to the next break. I was not present in my work or my life. I had no boundaries. I said yes to “everything,” but “everything” didn’t include ME, it was just job stuff. I lived this way for almost four years until I came to the realization that, while I got a sense of purpose from my job, I didn’t want that to be my WHOLE life. If I wanted a life bigger than just being “Ms. Proulx,” I had to start saying “no” in my job, and I had to figure out what I wanted and needed to say “yes” to. Easeful living asks us to bring intention to how we spend our time and energy. We can’t do everything, and trying to will only lead to burnout. By focusing on what matters most to us, we free ourselves to live with more ease. I have an awesome free resource I'd love to share with you to help you with this step. "Life in Alignment: A Practical Guide to Living Your Values" will help you uncover your core values, assess how well you’re honoring them in your daily life, and create a personalized plan to live more in tune with who you truly are. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just seeking more purpose, this guide will empower you to live a more balanced, fulfilled life. Balancing Pleasure with Purposeful Wellness The final component of easeful living is balancing present-moment enjoyment and long-term well-being. This distinction can be seen in two types of happiness: hedonic and eudaemonic.
When you give into every whim simply for the pleasure of feeling good in the moment, you experience big swings in your energy and mood--feeling really really good and really really bad (red graph). You eat a sleeve of cookies and they taste so good, but then you feel like crap. You crash on the couch after work because you're tired and it feels good to rest, but then you can't sleep at night because you didn't move your body all day, and you continuously live in this sluggish cycle. You have a glass of wine every night to wind down, but then it wreaks havoc on your sleep. The alternative is living with a little bit more discipline (which is simply giving up what you want in the present moment for something bigger you want in the future). Say no to the wine, dessert, and Netflix binge. Say yes to the exercise, reduced screen time, and earlier bed time. As you start, you will feel disappointed or annoyed or maybe even a little restricted, but the result will be expansive and it'll be so worth it. Eudaemonic wellness, while not always "fun," creates a steady, elevated baseline of joy and purpose that we get to experience every day. While it may not deliver the same dramatic highs as hedonic pleasures, it fosters a life that feels more meaningful and satisfying overall. As for the lows, it won't eradicate problems from your life, but you'll be better able to cope with the challenges of life that inevitably arise. Easeful living invites us to adopt lifestyle practices that enhance this deeper sense of wellness. It’s about subtracting the things that don’t serve us and making room for the things that do. For instance, my mornings feel easeful when I get up on my first alarm rather than hitting snooze five times (*cough* that used to be me). My energy around food feels more easeful when I choose to make a high-protein breakfast in the morning, which starts my day off with energy and leads me to make better choices for my easeful life throughout the day. I also like to fit in a few minutes of mindfulness and take a moment to set my intentions for the day. These practices align with my values and help me to stay present in my life. At the same time, I don’t feel pressured to cram in every “good” habit. While social media might suggest that I should meditate for an hour, journal extensively, and practice gratitude daily, I know that balance matters. Instead, I focus on the activities that support my easeful life while leaving space for joy, spontaneity, and rest. Let’s be clear, this isn’t me telling you how to create your easeful life. If you have pets or children, your mornings may look different. Maybe your easeful morning includes spending quality time with your (fur) babies. You get to define what leads to your eudaemonic happiness and long-term well-being. Remember, shut out the external voices telling you what you “should” be doing and define it for yourself. A Life Designed for You Easeful living is ultimately about designing a life that feels expansive, intentional, and uniquely yours. It’s not about doing more but about doing what truly matters. Imagine a day where you wake up feeling rested, savor a warm cup of tea, and head to a job that feels meaningful. You move your body and eat nourishing foods. After work, you engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s knitting, playing a board game, or cooking a delicious meal. You end the day feeling fulfilled, knowing you spent your time in alignment with your values and life you want both now and in the future. This is easeful living. It’s the exhale, the sigh of relief that comes from knowing you don’t have to do everything. It’s the joy of choosing what’s right for you. So take a deep breath. Let go of the pressure. And give yourself permission to live with ease. |
AuthorHi! I'm Elaine and it is my joy to help purpose driven women find harmony between their desire to make a difference in the world and their need to nourish their body, mind, and spirit. Archives
February 2025
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