Recently, I had the opportunity to participate in a group coaching program about stress. It was a four-week program where we learned about stress, what it does to the body, and how to manage it better.


In one of our sessions, the coach asked what our biggest source of stress was, and immediately, I thought about school. I’m in grad school getting a master’s degree in Integrative Health, and it has been a journey. I’ve finished 4/5 trimesters and have taken a variety of classes — some that I’ve loved and some I just had to get through.

In one of our group sessions, the coach asked us what we could do to manage our stress, and I immediately thought about the end of my grad program — I have one trimester left, and being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel is a relief. I thought, “I’ll just wait it out. When I graduate, I won’t be stressed anymore!”

Yeah right. I’m one of those people who always finds something to stress out about…anyone else?

In this reflection, I realized that the source of my stress is rarely, if ever, external. (I say this recognizing my privilege that all my basic needs are met and I am safe. Not everyone has the same experience). Nothing outside of me causes me stress — my job, school, my relationships, money…. I make it all up in my mind.

What has caused me so much stress around my schoolwork has been procrastination and the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. When I put pressure on myself to do something perfectly, I put it off, usually because I’m afraid to fail. The longer I put it off, the more I build up the task in my mind to be insurmountable, time-consuming, massive, overwhelming. And then I stress as the deadline approaches and I have a behemoth of a task to complete.

And this doesn’t just happen with my school work. I also do this my coaching business. And in reaching out to friends and making plans. And taking care of adulting things.

But when I finally get to the task, 9 times out of 10, it’s not that bad.

I think one of the most powerful ways for me to overcome this destructive cycle of procrastination and stress has been a consistent mindfulness practice. Meditating 10–15 minutes per day helps me be aware of the thoughts that lead to procrastination, which helps me move through them into action.

Other ways I’ve been able to manage stress are spending time outdoors (nature is sooo healing for me!), moving my body, and getting enough quality sleep every night.

​So, what causes you the most stress in your life? And what can you do to manage it better so you can experience a little more Easeful Living?

For the holidays, I visited my parents in Colorado.

The first morning, I went downstairs before putting in my contacts and stood by the banister asking for a covid test (I’d woken up with a sore throat 🥴). As I kept my distance, I could only see fuzzy faces down the hall in the family room, so I decided instead to focus on what was right in front of me on the banister — a little spot of something that used to be wet or sticky. I picked it off (so satisfying) and then made my way back upstairs.

It made me think about how often we focus on what’s far away, what we want long-term. We know it exists (yes, it already exists!), but there’s some fuzziness, some lack of clarity and detail about exactly what it’ll be like.

And we crave clarity! We want to know exactly what’ll happen and how we’ll get there. But we can’t know. When we focus so much on that, we might get frustrated or defeated trying to bring it into focus, then freeze into inaction or give up completely.

What if you could accept that what you desire for your health and life is coming and release the need to control the outcome? What if you could instead focus on what’s right in front of you, what is yours to do in this moment, knowing that your future self and life is there and will all work out?

When you hold your vision AND focus on what you can do right now, you’re much more likely to get there (wherever “there” is for you). And you don’t have to force the outcome because the dots will always connect.

So, what is yours to do right now that will help move you a little bit closer to the future self you hold in your mind?

If you’re inclined to share, I’d love to hear from you — comment below!

​Regardless, know that I am rooting for you always, and I’m so grateful you’re here.

For me, Easeful Living is an exhale. But not just one of those short exhales we do unconsciously all day every day. It’s a complete release of all the pressure and expectations I put on myself and that society puts on me. And it’s an embrace of who I truly am, what I want, and how I choose to live my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. Try that kind of exhale. How does it feel?

I don’t know about you, but I have been known to get a little too stressy about things that don’t matter in the end. I take on the expectations of others and want to do things “perfectly” (whatever that means).

In health and wellness, there is soooo much advice out there about what to do, what to eat, how to exercise, where to…blah blah blah. There is no way to follow it all (in fact, it’s questionable if you should even follow all the advice at all).

We all have distinct needs. Every body is different. So what works for me may not work for you. What worked for people in that one research study on X diet may make you feel like crap. What works for one trainer may not get you the body of your dreams.

Easeful Living is a process of self-discovery. Figuring out what you want (not what others tell you that you should want). Then figuring out tools and strategies that work for you at this time in the world and in your life. Things you’ll enjoy doing (because it doesn’t have to be miserable and effortful — remember, it’s all about Easeful Living).

Just knowing that — I don’t have to do EVERYTHING “they” tell me to do — is a weight off my shoulders. A sigh of relief. I get to explore and discover the things I think will help me be well.

This week has been busy, and I was focused on just doing what I could each day to get to the end of the week. On Friday, I realized that I had a holiday party to go to with an optional white elephant gift exchange. I’d had every intention of participating, so I was disappointed in myself for not having planned ahead and found a gift. I also didn’t have a festive shirt or sweater to wear.

I felt bad for a couple of minutes and then gave myself some grace and let it go. So I wouldn’t participate in the gift exchange or be festively dressed. Oh well. Gift-giving is at the bottom of my love language list, and decorating and dressing “festive” is just not my thing.

But what is my thing is baking cookies for the party (which I did). And showing up and pushing myself to be social (which I did).

There are so many expectations around the holidays, and it can be easy to get swept away by them all. What’s hard is bringing intention to where you choose to send your energy (because you can’t do everything) and then maintaining those boundaries to protect your peace. And that’s what makes living a little more easeful.

​So for me, Easeful Living is an exhale, a sigh of relief. That I don’t have to do everything. That I get to choose the things I’m good at and enjoy in the world. And that I get to allow others to do the rest.

I’m a before-bed reader. (Did you know that reading has been shown to cut stress levels in half in about six minutes??) I prefer to read fiction, especially at night. I love a good story. Sometimes I can read 100 pages before my eyes start to droop, sometimes just 1.


If you didn’t see my video in the Easeful Living Society Facebook group (if you’re not in the Facebook group, go join!) on Wednesday, you may have missed my spiffy little bookmark where I’ve kept track of my reading over the last two years. I like to read about two books per month. Reading and learning is something I value, and the amount of books I read is a measure of that.


This week, I finally finished a book that I seemed to be reading for months. As I added it to my bookmark, I realized I was way off track from my goal. In 2022 I read 25 novels. Awesome! In November of 2023, I’ve read 14. What happened?


A few things, actually.

• Have you ever finished an incredible book and then fallen into a book rut? Before this book, I read Beautiful Country (highly recommend) and struggled to get into another book.
• I started a few different books that I didn’t finish. Initially, it seemed like wasted time, and yet, I needed to spend that time to figure out they weren’t for me and get them off my bookshelf!
• I finally found one I could stick with, and it still took me a while to get into it. It was good, not great, so I just read a few pages every night, which was enough to help me wind down before bed but not “good enough” for me to finish the book in two weeks.

OH WELL.
It took me a few tries to get back on the reading wagon. And when I did, it was slow going. But I got where I wanted, which was the end of the book. And I’m glad I did because it was a good story!
This goes for any habit you want to start or restart or continue. First, you set a goal and release attachment to the outcome. The goal helps you figure out the first step. And then you just focus there. Choose a book and start reading. Choose a new type of exercise to try. Make a new recipe. Et cetera.


When it doesn’t work right away, sometimes you give it a little more time and effort to see if you can make it work. And if it doesn’t, you scrap it and move on to the next approach. You learned what doesn’t work, and you keep moving forward to find what does.


And when you finally find something that works, it may still take a while to find your rhythm. But if you just keep moving forward, taking small steps, reading just a few pages at a time, you’ll get “there.” “There” is not the end–it’s just a more expanded version of yourself.


And it really doesn’t matter how long it takes. Because you’ve got your whole life to figure it out.
I only read 14 books in 10 months. Oh well. December 31 isn’t the end of my reading journey. I have many years ahead to fill up the rest of this bookmark, and many more bookmarks after that.

What's your favorite genre to read? Comment below!

Last week during a guided compassion meditation, I was told to bring to mind someone who needed compassion. My first thought was I need compassion right now. My second thought was Wow, that’s selfish.

Thankfully, I caught myself and recognized that I DID need some self-compassion at that moment otherwise I would not have been able to show up fully for everything I had to do that day.

There’s a lot of hard, sad stuff going on in the world right now. It’s easy to minimize and ignore my own pain and suffering in service of others…until it isn’t.

When I ignore or distract myself from the pain, it doesn’t usually just go away. It slowly derails all my good intentions and habits that keep me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well until I give it (or it forces me to give) the attention, love, and compassion it needs to heal.

And this is true for any challenge we face — stress, indigestion, fitful sleep, physical aches and pains, negative thoughts, loneliness. Every once in a while, the issue resolves itself. But usually, it needs something more.

As women who want to impact others and the world, we tend to put our needs last because there’s someone or something else that “needs us more.” This is not an effective strategy for long-term impact and well-being.

You are the most important person in your life because there would be no life — relationships, work, impact on the world — without you. You think it’s noble to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, but that’s actually selfish. When you don’t take care of yourself for long enough, at some point, someone else will have to take care of you.

So it’s not selfish to put myself first; it’s actually the most selfless thing I can do for myself, my loved ones, and the world. This is why I do what I do.

I help purpose-driven women find harmony between their desire to make a difference in the world and their need to nourish themselves without guilt so they can live well now and decades from now and continue to impact the world for decades to come.

My 6- or 12-week one-on-one coaching program, The Easeful Living Blueprint, is for women who were born to make an impact in the world but also want to enjoy their life while doing it.

Because being an unapologetic force for change starts from within. Would you do me a favor this week? Can you think of one woman (or more!) who could benefit from hearing this message? Would you share this post with her?
​
We’re just getting started, and there’s so much yet to come. I’m happy you’re here.

I had a great time in Colorado this October. I got to experience my first Colorado fall in nine years, and it was everything I’d hoped for. I’m sure my parents got annoyed listening to me say “Ooh look at that tree!” “OMG it’s so beautiful out here!” “Wow look at these colors!” every 5 seconds as we walked around the neighborhood.

A few days away is good for the soul, and I always feel ready to get back to my normal routine when I get home…. Unfortunately, my flight back to Houston on Tuesday was diverted to Austin, and I had to spend the night at the airport.


At first, I was pretty calm about the situation (seeing other people incensed about any situation usually helps me stay calm 😅). But as the hours ticked by, I started to stress about everything I had planned for the next day.

When I finally got home Wednesday, I spent the rest of the day catching up on sleep, leaving me only two weekdays left and A LOT to do.


Thursday, I was ready to tackle my to-do list. I had assignments due that night for my grad program (which I’d planned to do Wednesday). I also had a class, coaching call, accountability call, exercise class, and Board meeting. Stressful.

So what the heck does this have to do with easeful living?

I really wanted to go to my exercise class, but I was very overwhelmed by all I had to do. When I was a teacher, I often excused myself from exercise because I was “too busy.”

On Thursday, the one optional thing was my exercise class, and I really didn’t want to fall back into my old habits, but I also really needed that time for the other stuff.

So I stopped (literally stopped what I was doing so I could think clearly). “Of course exercise is important, and I’ve been really consistent with it lately! I’m also in an unplanned time crunch, and I can’t afford to lose those 75 minutes. It would cause more stress than it relieved.”

So I decided to cancel the class, and I didn’t feel guilty about it! It was such a small moment, but it made a huge impact on my energy going into the afternoon.

Later on, I needed a short break. Instead of turning on the TV or napping, I decided to hop on my exercise bike for 30 minutes.

Now, I don’t always make this kind of “healthy” decision, but I was proud of myself for identifying my priorities for the day and my life (in this case — movement) and fitting them in wherever possible (even if it wasn’t how I’d planned).

And, what the heck does it have to do with me?

​This all may sound inconsequential. Big whoop.

But how often have you put off sleep because something came up? Or gotten takeout because you didn’t have time or motivation to cook like you’d planned? Or skipped the workout because something “more important” came up? We do this all the time and slowly our healthy habits get squeezed out to make room for stuff that isn’t more important (every once in a while it may be!). And all of sudden, we’re living out of alignment with what we really want for our lives, and we don’t know how to get back on track.

This is the work I do with my coaching clients. We identify priorities and set intentions. We set goals and action steps aligned with those priorities. We come up with backup plans (because things don’t always go according to plan). And then they act, we reassess, and we do it again. That’s it — it’s pretty simple. You can do it on your own, but it can also be helpful to do it with someone else!

You have to find ways to work within the demands of your life. That doesn’t mean you live at the whim of whatever arises. But it also doesn’t mean rigid structure and forcing things to happen. It means you bring awareness to situations that cause discomfort-stress-overwhelm and decide how to proceed with intention and without guilt, whether planning ahead or in the moment.

It’s not always going to turn out how you think it might. But it will always turn out for your highest good.

So looking at the week ahead, what intention can you set for your life and health? I’d love to know.

​Comment below, and I’ll respond with my intention for the week, too!

When I got in the car to drive to work, I plugged in my phone, but the audio I was trying to listen to wasn’t loading, so the radio kept playing. In my rush to get on the road (I wasn’t running late; I just have a perpetual sense of urgency…), I kind of forgot about it.

It took me about 10 minutes to realize that the radio was still playing and it was some obnoxious radio show that was not serving me, yet I’d been allowing it to penetrate my psyche unconsciously for 10 minutes. Instead of changing the channel or cueing up a podcast, I decided just to turn it off and drive in silence.

I’ve been doing this more often lately. Turning off the noise. Tuning into silence.

I am often overstimulated. Constant information from social media, podcasts, music, people. Traffic. Stress. Screens. Never-ending to-do lists (yes, I have multiple). Can you relate?

There was a time earlier this year when I couldn’t stand the silence. From the moment I woke up until the moment I went to sleep, I had podcasts, music, or TV playing in the background to keep my attention on anything except my thoughts. I told myself I was making the most of my time, filling every moment with learning and consumption — No Extra Time (N.E.T. — thanks Tony Robbins).

Or even if you’re not steeped in self-help culture (I’ll happily take that on for you and just share the highlights!), we live in a society that values the go-go-go hustle culture, and we can all get caught up in it from time to time.

But there’s something to be said for the silence. Silence is productive, and is often necessary to allow our body and mind to settle so we can continue to function.

For me, this has meant not turning on a podcast when I first wake up but rather brushing my teeth and getting ready for the day in silence. Going for a walk without headphones. Driving in silence. Meditating at least 20 minutes a day — this is new! (Although I usually listen to a guided meditation, there’s plenty of space for silence.)

​So, where do you fit silence in your daily life? And if you don’t, what might you consider adding in (or eliminating) to make space for silence this week? I would love to know. Seriously, hit reply! :)

Sending lots of love and gratitude to you and this community.