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For any car to last a long time, it needs regular maintenance (stick with me, ladies!!)—quality gas, regular oil changes, air in the tires, a wash every once in a while, careful driving to avoid accidents. More infrequently, you need to replace the battery, tires, wiper blades, a burned out taillight, and damaged parts. A new car is pristine. It’s in top notch condition and is more resilient because it has all new parts. You don’t think about all the upkeep much because it’s holding together just fine, even when you put off maintenance. But as it ages, the car starts to need more attention (especially if you didn’t give it much care early on). Without it, the car will break down a lot sooner and more often than it would have if you’d given it the appropriate care from the beginning. A blown out tire because you didn’t get it replaced when the tread wore down. An overheating engine because you didn’t have the coolant replaced maybe ever. A dangerous drive home in a rainstorm (or, God forbid, an accident) because the torn up wiper blades were not clearing the windshield. A ticket for driving with two burned out tail lights. A failed emissions test because you used the cheapest gas even though the car needed the next tier. A whole engine replacement way too soon because you didn’t do the proper periodic preventative maintenance. (Some of this may or may not be real stuff…hopefully you get the picture 😜) No matter what condition your car is in now, though, it’s never too late to start taking better care of it. You may have to make some big investments at the beginning to get the car back into good shape, and it may take some time, but then preventative maintenance will do the trick moving forward. The car is your body/mind/spirit (BMS). (Bet you didn’t see that coming 😉) Have you ever noticed how when you don’t eat, you get hangry? Or when you’re dehydrated, you get a headache? When you don’t exercise, you get sluggish? When you eat poorly, you get anxious or your stomach hurts? When you don’t sleep enough, you get sick? When you’re young, you often don’t think about taking care of yourself. You’re spry and resilient. Your BMS can handle most things and generally bounce back from the paces you put it through. But as you age, that wear and tear starts to build up. All the junk you eat to fuel your body. Not exercising your heart, muscles, and joints. Not scheduling regular checkups with the doctor, dentist, and optometrist. Constantly scrolling social media without engaging your mind in more challenging and productive activities. Neglecting your relationships and going it alone. Drinking and smoking regularly. Not saving and investing your money for the future. Most of these activities aren’t inherently “bad” on their own or done infrequently, but when you do them regularly or all together, the damage to your well-being compounds over time and leaves you in a vulnerable state physically, mentally, and emotionally. Eventually, one small crisis can take you down and make it really hard to get back up. Your internal resources are the “reserves” of health you build up through basic healthful habits that enhance your physical, mental, and spiritual capacity to handle life’s challenges. Building your internal resources is like taking care of your car. It’s critical for resilience. To build up your internal resources, you really just have to take it back to the most basic (yet effective) self-care principles—exercise, eat well, sleep enough, practice mindfulness, build strong relationships, and generally build a life in alignment with your core values. Let’s take a deeper look at how the most simple self-care can be the most effective. Exercise: You probably know exercise is a powerful tool for your physical health. It helps your heart, muscles, bones, immune system, and brain. It helps you get better sleep, reduces stress, and can prevent the development and progression of many chronic diseases. When you exercise regularly and your body is functioning optimally at a baseline level, it is equipped to handle unexpected stress that occurs—anything from a physical injury or illness to a relationship challenge to a job loss. Diet: Eating whole foods (i.e. fruits, veggies, unprocessed meats, beans, nuts, whole grains, etc.) gives your body the energy and nourishment you need to get through your day. Your body can easily digest whole foods and access all their nutrients, delivering them to the cells and organs that need them to function optimally. Nature makes food (plants and animals) perfect as they are. Whole foods have an ideal combination of nutrients that give you what you need. Ultraprocessed foods, on the other hand, are often manufactured with random ingredients and lots of chemicals that require your digestive system and organs to work a lot harder than they were designed for to filter out all the “junk” (for lack of a better term). Even ultraprocessed foods that are “healthy,” such as protein powders, fat free yogurt, or meat substitutes, usually aren’t. Most human intervention in the food system is done to save money and optimize production, not to make foods better for us. Isolated macro- or micronutrients (i.e. “high protein,” “low fat,” etc.) often aren’t received as well in our bodies as nutrients coming from whole food sources because our bodies have evolved to process the blend of nutrients nature delivers, not to consume a big gob of protein alone (likely with a bunch of added chemicals). Choosing foods and ingredients that are nature-made (rather than human-made) gives your body the building blocks it needs to be strong and healthy without requiring the extra effort and energy to digest ultraprocessed foods, thereby leaving greater capacity for you to handle the other aspects of your life. Sleep: Good sleep is crucial for your body and mind to function properly. It strengthens your immune system, balances hormones, and overall builds your body’s resilience to challenges and stress (among many other benefits). You want to make sure you’re getting enough sleep and that it’s high quality. To get 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep, the first thing to do is carve out that time (duh…but also, are you doing it?). Then you practice sleep hygiene to enhance the quality of those hours. That means setting up a supportive sleep environment, having regular bed and wake times, exercising daily, limiting alcohol, caffeine, and food intake before bed, and limiting screen time before bed. Being well rested gives you the physical and mental capacity to fully experience your life and manage challenges that come your way with ease and strength. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is being aware of what’s happening in your mind and the outer world as it happens. Your thoughts are your reality, and they’re the only thing you can really control in your life. Your thoughts about any situation create an emotional reaction, which then causes you to react/respond, which creates a new situation that you then have a thought about. You can rarely control the situation, so it’s really crucial that you focus on building the capacity to manage your thoughts about it. When you are mindful, you notice thoughts that arise and choose how to respond rather than reacting impulsively based on your past experiences.  For example, you work a full day and are exhausted by the time you get home. Your brain is telling you to sit on the couch and watch Netflix for the rest of the night. If you’ve built a mindfulness practice, your mindful muscle will help you hear that thought but not immediately give in to it. You can tap into your body to determine if you actually need to sit on the couch all night or if you can go for a walk or grab dinner with friends. Building your mindful muscle is helpful when anything unexpected arises in your life. You can manage your thoughts about it and respond in a way that’s aligned with your core values.
Community: Human beings are meant to live in relationship to other humans. Healthy and meaningful relationships can support us through shared wisdom and resources, accountability, a sense of purpose and belonging, and having someone to lean on, all of which are necessary to not only survive but thrive. _______ It’s really simple, but not necessarily easy. That is, it doesn’t have to be complicated, but that doesn’t mean it won’t require effort and intention. Maintaining this miraculous BMS machine you’ve been given is worth the expansive life you get in return. When your body, mind, and spirit are running well, everything is possible. Start with your values. Figure out what's most important to you. From there, you'll have a good idea of the lifestyle habits you need to build to support yourself in being able to live out those values and live your Well Life. (This is not meant to be medical advice and is general information about health habits that could benefit most people who are healthy and don’t have health conditions. Consult a doctor before making significant changes to your life.)
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“Stop getting distracted by things that have nothing to do with your dreams or goals.” – Unknown Humans need shortcuts to survive. Our brains create habits because we literally don’t have the capacity to focus on everything all the time. We only have a limited capacity for attention and focus every day. The more decisions and actions we can make automatic, the more mental energy we have left to direct to things that truly matter. Now more than ever, we’re constantly bombarded with information: news apps, social media, fitness trackers, weather updates, health metrics, and notifications about all these things. Add to that the input we get from the physical world (interactions with other people, our work, the physical spaces we spend time in), and it’s no wonder our brains rely on shortcuts to navigate it all. While these shortcuts serve you, always relying on them without reflection can lead to a life that's misaligned with your evolving values and goals. What’s important to you changes over time. If you live automatically, your lifestyle may not evolve with you. In my last few years of teaching, I was miserable. I felt stuck and stagnant. I wasn’t supported or growing in my job. My days were robotic: get up on the third alarm (yes, three alarms because I dreaded starting my day), eat the same breakfast, put on my "uniform" (jeans and one shirt I owned in multiple patterns), and head to school. I’d get there early, not because I needed to, but because it’s what I had always done. After work, I’d either go for a walk or, more often, land on the couch until bedtime, getting up only to reheat my meal-prepped dinner—the same one I’d eaten every night for years. Weekends weren’t much better. I’d often “rest,” which really meant hours in front of the TV (hate to break it to you but…that's not rest). I was in a rut, restless and bored, but I didn’t understand why. All I knew was I couldn’t stand it anymore. So, I blew it all up. Within eight months, I ended a serious relationship, moved and bought a house, quit my job, and started a business and master’s program in a new field, with the hope that these changes would fix how I felt. While the novelty shook things up, it was ultimately overwhelming and didn’t address the root cause of my dissatisfaction. Sure, I was ready to leave teaching and maybe had outgrown my little apartment and the relationship with my ex, but I probably didn't need to make all those huge changes at once. The real issue was the smaller habits and lifestyle choices I’d never questioned. I was still living the lifestyle I'd created five years earlier when I was in survival mode as a new teacher. Wearing the same clothes and eating the same meals simplified my life when I needed all my energy for teaching. But as I grew and gained experience, I no longer needed to expend so much energy at work and had more for myself, but I never used it for myself. Massive changes didn’t fix the foundational habits that no longer served me. So what could I have done differently? And what can you do if you’re itching in your life–feeling stuck, discontent, disconnected, meaningless, frustrated? How do you know when you’re stuck in habits that aren’t serving you? Start with mindfulness. Pay attention to how you feel and think about your life. Are you experiencing dis-ease in your job, relationships, home, and general lifestyle? These feelings are signs something needs to change. Then, redefine your values. Your values—beliefs about what’s most important to you—influence your actions, thoughts, and emotions. They evolve as you learn and grow, so reevaluate them periodically. Reflect on what matters to you right now. Checkout my free guide, Life in Alignment, A Practical Guide to Living Your Values, to help you unlock your core values and take the first steps toward designing an aligned life. Create or revisit your vision for optimal health and life. Based on your values, imagine the life you want. Assess how you’re currently living in relation to that vision. Make changes. Adjust your lifestyle to align more closely with your vision and values. Remember, this process is simple but not always easy. It’s the small, consistent actions—not the occasional big moves—that shape your life and how you feel about it. Living in alignment with your values brings fulfillment and purpose. When you’re out of alignment, you may feel lost, aimless, or unmoored. Are your actions today reflecting the life you want to create? If not, it’s time to pause, reflect, and realign. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, remember: it’s not about doing everything or being who others expect you to be. It’s about figuring out who you are and what you want, then taking intentional steps to build an aligned life. As a Well-Life Coach, the first thing I do with clients is help them define their values so they can build lifestyle systems that are aligned with the things that are most important to them in life. My coaching programs are designed to give you one-on-one support and accountability through a customized program to help you build healthful foundations in all areas of your health, from exercise and nutrition to community and emotional well-being. You learn and implement simple systems and habits to transform your health and life. If you're interested in exploring how we can work together to support you on your journey to a well life and living easefully, let's hop on a free 20-minute clarity call. On this call, we'll discuss your goals, your challenges, and whether or not Well-Life Coaching is the right support for you. |
AuthorHi! I'm Elaine and it is my joy to help purpose driven women find harmony between their desire to make a difference in the world and their need to nourish their body, mind, and spirit. Archives
February 2025
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